clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The Mush: Non-revenue sports are people too!

New, comments

In which we provide a rundown of just what the heck is going on in Montlake.

Above you will see the 30th anniversary version of the Duck Hunt dog.
Washington Softball Twitter

Remember, many moons ago, when the football season kicked off? Remember how our supreme merciful rulers, Chris “Hip With The Kids” Landon and Ryan “I Was On Time For Practice Once in 2003” Priest not only allowed, but encouraged me to follow-up each game with that bona fide pile of non-sequitur malarkey commonly referred to as Stuff and Shenanigans?

This is of course a rhetorical question. I know you don’t remember, as it’s been empirically concluded that UWDP’s average reader is a middle-aged man with arthritic knees and memory loss.

Regardless, I’ll continue on in the assumption that you indeed do.

Because since it’s the football off-season, I’m now bringing you dear readers this new column — ostensibly to keep all y’all up to date with those pesky non-revenue sports. (In reality, it’s to keep me busy so as to prevent me from chewing through your sofa and/or digging a hole the size of Connecticut in your neighbor’s lawn — just like a real life husky!)

So from now on, I’ll tackle football-less Fridays by attempting to figure out just what the bloody heck is going on in other Washington sports news, and then doing a mediocre to poor job of relaying that information to you.

Without further ado, here’s this week in Husky non-revenue brought to you by someone who is qualified to talk about very few of the following:

First off, women’s golf. February 27th and 28th, they went down to San Luis Obispo for the Bruin/Wave Invite, because that makes sense for some reason that UCLA would host a golf tournament so many hours north of Westwood. The Dawgs came in fifth on the 27th and seventh on the 28th, and meanwhile I realized I have no idea how to read golf stats. But apparently we’ve got a freshman, Karen Miyamoto, who’s pretty good according to some metrics I don’t understand. So that’s good.

Baseball then was gonna have their home opener yesterday against Sacramento State but, in the ultimate indignity The PNW could gift us, rain postponed it until today at 5 pm. Making up for the rainout, today will be the first in UW’s three game series against Sac State but, more importantly, how have northwesterners of all people still not figured out how to build a baseball diamond that can handle some precipitation?

Moving on, men’s and women’s tennis had divergent results this week, with the guys losing 3-4 to Indiana in a tight competition while the gals beat UC Santa Barbara to continue their unbeaten match-streak to the last three games. The women will try to continue that streak (and improve their record to 11-2) this afternoon against Oklahoma State. Unrelated, can someone explain to me why tennis scoring is so funky?

The men’s and women’s track and field teams competed in the penultimate meet of their indoor season last weekend with the MPSF Championship. Sprinter Laura Anuakpado broke the Washington record for the 400-meters, leading the Husky women to seventh place overall out of 20 teams present. The men took eighth place, while some weirdos from a bit south of the Columbia River were first (ew). Anuakpado further helped lead the Washington women’s 4x400 relay to fourth place.

No. 7/8 softball had a big week in non-game related news, as former Dawg Courtney Gano signed with Italian pro club Softball Forli (Motto: Wait — We Play Softball in Italy?) and Ali Aguilar was selected as a candidate for the Senior CLASS Award. The latter is given annually to the student athlete who kicks the most ass on and off the field, or something like that. On the diamond, Washington is probably playing Iowa or Indiana as you’re reading this, which is my way of saying you should probably quit reading this now and go check up on those games.

Also, in case you forgot, I will remind you now that the softball team started off the season by beating the #1 and #2 teams in the country, Oklahoma and Auburn, on the same weekend, and have only lost two games. Basically, it looks like 2017 will continue the pattern of Coach Tarr’s teams being good enough that we completely take for granted how impressive it is that the last time Washington softball didn’t make the NCAA tournament, I wasn’t alive.

Thanks for checking in — if you actually read this all the way through, I’m impressed. Future Fridays will include a rotation of teams being covered including some non-varsity sports (rugby) because you all need to learn to love some other (rugby), lesser-appreciated (rugby), club sports (it’s rugby).

Oh, and I hear the women’s basketball team are pretty good? It’s probably no big deal. They can’t be that good, and I bet they don’t have any exciting players that are busy casually draining three-pointers or breaking the NCAA all-time scoring record.

Of course, in the spirit of shenanigans we couldn’t forget...

Line of the Week

I like to think this is what Kelsey Plum would say to the now former-NCAA all-time leading scorer, Jackie Stiles:

Lastly, if any of you has a better recurring name for this column/mildly coherent string of words, by all means send your suggestions my way. Our beloved UWDP author Ben and I tried our darndest to come up with something worthy of you darlings but as you can see, clearly we weren’t too successful:

And remember kids:

Do good things, don’t do bad things, and bow down to Washington.