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Stuff and Shenanigans: City of Hipsters State

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UW Dawg Pound attempts to prove they’re better than George Lucas at Episode IIIs. Also, Gabey reveals her true intentions.

Portland State v Washington
Someday, Dubs, we will be united. Seriously though how are more people not obsessed with this dog?!
Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

Preamble: As a faithful follower of journalistic ethics and promoter of transparency in all realms, I find that I must come forward and admit my true intent behind S&S. It most certainly isn’t to provide reading material for you hooligans, but rather:

  • To gain enough influence so that Derek Waters will know I exist and subsequently invite me to be a narrator on Drunk History when they do an episode in Seattle. Obviously I’d tell the story of UW’s ‘36 crew team. Duh.
  • To gain enough influence so that Dubs’ handlers will know I exist and subsequently let me cuddle their dog.

Oh, also while on the topic of my vices, I have to admit I missed a significant portion of Saturday’s game. But before you throw full wine bottles at your computer screen in a rage (or, let’s be honest here, a lot of you are more the Rainier type), isn’t it a good sign that I could do that confident the Dawgs wouldn’t blow it? If I couldn’t dip out - due to prior obligations - for fear of something drastic threatening a Husky victory, that wouldn’t bode well.

Anyways, moving on.

I have an interesting relationship with Portland. You see, this most recent one notwithstanding, my latest summers have been spent in the City of Roses living on a camping pad in my sister’s living room while on the production team of a couple TV shows. One of them you’ve almost certainly heard of. Another you’ve almost certainly not.

And my coworkers, if they weren’t Ducks, were mostly Vikings. (If any of my production Ducks stumbled upon this, don’t worry, you know I love you in spite of your alma mater. Also, if anybody who isn’t the former wants to accuse me of fraternizing with the enemy, also don’t worry; this is a select group of people and otherwise no warm feelings for Ducks exist anywhere in my being. Even entertaining that idea, I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.)

So with this in mind, Portland State kind of has a special place in my heart in that I involuntarily think of it as the opposite of UO.

Accurate.

Thus I like seeing Portland State do well.

Just not against us. Check.

A 100% Accurate and 74% Sober History of Absolutely Everything

Chico’s game! I’m willing to bet a handful of you read that to the tune of “Jesse’s Girl.”

Ha. Now you have stuck in your head the sweet Australian crooning of Rick Springfield. Suck it. (Note to self: Fox pitch idea for a new reality series to replace Idol: Next Sweet Australian Heartthrob.)

But for real, is anybody else enjoying that each game seems to have a different star emerge from the receiving corps? (Food Network pitch idea: Receiving Star - Kitchen Madness.)

Considering that we were all but flipping our desks in anxiety over the mysterious output potential of the receivers coming into this season, I find this to be muchos wunderschön. Plus, considering that we were all but flipping our desks in anxiety over the “meh” run game against Rutgers and Idaho, this also was a nice reassurance. Sure, it wasn’t like the output we’ve seen in some games last year, but I’m going out on a limb to say that’s probably a good thing. A more balanced offensive attack means that Washington shouldn’t need to rely on the running game quite as much as they did last year. Furthermore, the emergence of consistently dependable receivers - if they prove they can keep this up against tougher competition - will also likely free up some room for Gaskin and company; especially with Rutgers, the defenses Washington has faced so far were pretty clearly focusing on stopping the run. In other words, Gaskin’s explosive 2015 could very well be a nice distraction for opposing defenses in 2016.

Related to the run game and their 213 yards, in that the topic of “run game” is often associated in these God-forsaken comment sections with “But what is a bruiser?” I think we might have found an answer to that question: Will Dissly. (Pitch idea to E! Network: Bruiser Bros of Orange County.)

More offensive notes include me going, “Hey! Aaron Fuller keeps getting involved! That’s neat. And validating because of that time I predicted it.

As well, PSU QB Alex Kuresa’s slipperiness I think was good practice for Arizona’s mobility that the Dawgs will be seeing next Saturday. In spite of losing Anu Solomon (and perhaps it’s less “in spite of” and more “all the more”), Arizona’s offense thrives on the shiftiness that Portland State exhibited, except Arizona’s talent level is higher. So that’ll be fun.

CoooooooooooooopWatch

In the second week of CoopWatch, our pal Deontae went up against the tough Utah defense (and former teammate Troy Williams) and came away with an all right 58 total yards. Not too shabby, not too great.

Line of the Week

I’m changing it up this week and instead of going with a Burgundy or Jennings gif, I’m gonna have to pull something straight from the real world:

"I'd also like to marry Miss America, but some things never happen. Not against that defense."
~Bruce “In My Past Life I Was in an Improv Troupe” Barnum

And with that being said...

Do good things, don’t do bad things, and bow down to Washington.