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Stuff and Shenanigans: Beav Banter

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Washington completes the sweep of our southern Cascadian neighbors while I engage in banter war with Building The Dam’s social media coordinators. You decide what’s more impressive.

NCAA Football: Oregon State at Washington Jennifer Buchanan-USA TODAY Sports

Guess who discovered Saturday that the Bellingham affiliate of the Washington IMG Radio Network transmits all the way to Vancouver?

Me. It’s me. I did.

I don’t have anything to elaborate on that. Just thought you should know. And with that oppressively short intro let’s move on to...

A 100% Accurate and 98% Sober History of Absolutely Everything

Let’s begin with the common starting point of every Washington football game: the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Wait, sorry, wrong thing.

What I meant to say was that the beginning of each Washington football game has followed the theme of “Oh hey look, a touchdown! Gee, that sure happened fast.” Case in point: that first TD strike to Aaron Fuller? Christ, he was wide open. It wasn’t even close.

As great as that is, I’m scared for what will happen to my anxiety levels when the Dawgs end up in a game where they don’t just score at will. That very well could end up next week. Gross. If that’s the case, look for the sobriety percentage on the 100% Accurate History of Absolutely Everything to plummet drastically.

Back to football things. What I’ve particularly enjoyed the last few weeks has been the emergence of Aaron Fuller as a sleeper hit in the receiving corps. The attention opposing defenses pay to Ross, Pettis, and McClatcher, leaving them to then get caught snoozing on a true frosh? I’m down with that. If there’s one single theme of this year’s team so far, I’d argue it’s the transformation of relatively unheralded guys turning into legit weapons, especially on offense. In the meantime, Gaskin the Gas Pedal continues being a slippery lil’ devil. (Spin move, anyone?) His vision especially seems to be advancing as the season goes on while—as we saw Saturday—the run blocking keeps looking better and better. That’s a combo that’ll kill.

All things considered though, this was a sloppy victory and you don’t need me saying so to know that. No, it wasn’t quite “Going out with British friends on a Friday”-level sloppy, but it was for sure “Going out with Canadian friends on a Tuesday”-level sloppy. (Before scoffing at that, you’d be surprised what Canadians can get up to on a Tuesday.)

Everybody’s Favorite Bolt-Action Rifle had, as Chris noted in his Grading the Game piece, by far his worst completion percentage. It tied with last year’s USC win as the worst of his career. Much of that was due to the passing game revolving a lot around high-risk, high-reward throws far downfield that naturally yield a lower completion rate. Much of that was due to an Oregon State passing defense that’s honestly underappreciated by both the media and college football fans. And it wasn’t a bad game, per se; despite the lower frequency of completions, he maintained his persona of Stupidly Efficient Man (superhero motto: Better and boring-er than you, Josh from LA) and spun some throws that would even convince the aforementioned British friends of mine that maybe our football and not theirs is actually “The Beautiful Game.”

But still, though.

Fifty’s not a lot of percent, passing-wise.

Lastly on Browning: that hit on him at the one yard line...ow. After seeing our QB get hit like that, we now know what it feels like to be a Coug fan.

In all seriousness though, and as it regards player safety this goes way beyond my allegiance to a rival team, I swear each week there’s a hit on Falk that leaves me with no idea how he’s still alive at the end of it. That’s one tough kid but also, sweet [insert religious figure here], I can’t imagine how stressful it would be as a Wazzu fan seeing him get wrecked like that so often. Hope that dude stays healthy. But I digress.

Back to the Dawg Front: can we appreciate for a moment that Victor Bolden fly sweep that gave Oregon State their first touchdown? Their execution of that was glorious. I wasn’t even mad. Granted, that might have been because we were up by five touchdowns, who knows?* Rarely have we seen the Washington defense get caught totally unprepared, but I was impressed by the blocking and deception by the Beavs.

Which brings me to the last thought: Oregon State is gonna get good. It’s not gonna be this year; it probably won’t be next year. Maaaaybe it’ll be the year after that. Maybe. Probably not. But with the fight they have in them, they’re headed that way.

*It was totally because we were up by five touchdowns.


Not a good day for San Jose State, but that’s what happens when you go up against a San Diego State team that’s A) one of the first in the country to reach bowl eligibility and B) only allowed 13 points during conference play. San Jose State’s entire trio of running backs only got 32 yards on the ground, so at a certain point I think we can reasonably draw the conclusion that that’s the fault of...I don’t know who, but probably not Coop.

Line of the Week

Because, you know, Dawgs and Beavs are well known to have the best banter west of the Mississippi.

Or at least, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Twitter handle in possession of a large sum of sass must be in want of someone to sass at. In layman’s terms: don’t give me control of your company’s Twitter account because it will devolve into the above.

Do good things, don’t do bad things, and bow down to Washington.