clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The worlds most interesting quarterback

Jake Locker has received more attention in the media this off season than perhaps any other player who has ever worn the purple and gold. You could say that he is the "Worlds Most Interesting Quarterback.

Despite all the coverage we were able to dig up a few fun facts about Jake that may have escaped your attention.

  • He once performed a miracle, but refuses to talk about it.
  • It is said he can converse with Malamutes.
  • Women hang on his every word, even the prepositions.
  • He can speak French in Russian.
  • Sharks have a week dedicated to him.
  • The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.
  • Only the second individual on record able to part the Red Sea.
  • Women say he tastes like chocolate.
  • His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it.
  • His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
  • Every time he swims in Lake Washington dolphins mysteriously appear.
  • If he were to give you directions, you would never get lost, and you would arrive five minutes early.
  • If he would mail a letter without postage, it would still get there
  • When it is raining, it is because he thinking about something sad.
  • An opposing defensive lineman once said his blood smells like cologne.
  • If he we’re to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.
  • His talent is so magnetic he is unable to carry credit cards.
  • Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
  • His organ donation card also lists his throwing arm.
  • His parents were named after him.
  • Chuck Norris has a poster of Jake on the wall. He secretly wishes it was autographed.
  • Alien abductors have asked him, to probe them.
  • He counts his chickens before they hatch...and they always hatch.
  • His hindsight is 20/10.
  • Fish need a license to be caught by him.
  • He can split atoms with his bare hands.
  • His sweat has been bottled, fermented, and made into a fine cognac.