What Good Interns Do Not Share With Romar Teams

What is one quality you look for from your intern?

A few days ago, my colleagues and I were having drinks, talking about what a great intern we had in Matt over the summer. We were talking about how we should recommend Matt to our supervisor as a permanent hire, and how we need to find another intern just like Matt. You see, in a public defender's office where all the attorneys are overworked, an intern like Matt is a god-sent gift to attorneys and some 120 DUI clients each one of us represents at any given moment. I guess most of those 120 DUI clients do not deserve a god-sent gift of any sort, but you know, whatever, it makes my life easier, and the whole idea behind this God thing is that he is supposed to be forgiving.

We called Matt the Machine. Perhaps the fact that he had a very German last name contributed to this very unimaginative and slightly racist nickname. He, like any proper male of German descent, was a big fan of the German national soccer team. Over the summer, he and I watched a few Euro 2012 games in which Germany played various European teams. Do you know anything about international soccer?* In Euro 2012, the Germans officially announced their comeback to the upper echelon of the world soccer - never technical like the Spaniards, never tactical like the Italians, never fervent like the Irish, but always organized, reliable and machine-like Germans.

* If you don't, well, you are not invited to my Capitol Hill party where my hipster friends and I will be exchanging pseudo-intelligent discussions about the recent New Yorker article on the effect of Seria A on Italian politics, of course while drinking PBR. Too bad!

Matt had that machine-like reliability of the German soccer team. Of course he did! He was German! Just like how my high school Asian girlfriend was really good at math! Matt wasn't the most brilliant one or the most creative one, but he was always the most machine-like one of all the interns. He was a machine. He took care of things the way he was supposed to take care.

And that's a quality Matt does not share with even the best of Romar's Husky teams. And that's why, every goddamn year, we collectively tremble at the thought of the Huskies inevitably laying an egg at the Gil Coliseum while 65 indifferent spectators are watching the game.

Since I started following Husky basketball in 2003, Romar has produced many good teams. Maybe even some great teams. Some really exciting teams for sure. They have created many memorable moments. And when they played well, they just seemed unstoppable. Do you remember that game against the undefeated Stanford team at Hec Ed? How Conroy, Robinson, Roy and Co. just played like losing was never their business? Remember the tourney game against Marquette when the Dawgs overcame 20-some point deficit? And surely you remember the famous "cold-blooded" game against Arizona, don't you?

But despite all those heroic moments, I don't remember ever feeling like Romar teams would take care of business when it mattered the most. I understand that a healthy dose of pessimism is probably an essential quality any passionate sports fan must possess for self-protection, but this is different from passionate fans just being paranoid or pessimistic. I have learned to expect Romar teams to screw up somewhere, somehow, never reaching their full potential year after year.

Maybe Romar's new high-post offense will bring a change. Maybe I am just making this stuff up, and people do not share this sentiment at all. And perhaps this is exactly why we love college basketball - anybody can beat anybody any given day. But still, I want to see a little bit of Matt from my Huskies. I want to win, I want to win a lot, and I want to win consistently. I have suffered too much.

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