the Gekko File: California
In this week's Gekko file, we are going to talk about truth, or at least the perception of truth and how, on occasion, truth is really more a concept than a principle. It was Winston Churchill who said that "Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on." In other words, civilized beings of the world will accept as truth only those matters that we find convenient. Presented with facts that infringe upon our convenience, we tend to move along with our more agreeable notions dominating our perceptions of truth.
I'm sure many of my colleagues on this blog can relate to the notion of convenient truths.
For Lear, it's the notion that women dig pilots because he's "encountered" a few flight attendants in his day. For John B, it's the notion that vacations in the Caribbean are, in fact, a luxury of the common man. For Crazi, it's the idea that whatever he just saw in his mind matches exactly what he just saw with his eyes. For JDHusker, its fact that Taylor Martinez throws a beautiful pass and for KirkD, it's the notion that intangibles are, well, tangible.
For me (man I was tempted to refer to myself in the fictional third person just now), my convenient truth is that Cal sucks. There are many reasons for this. For one, I lived in San Francisco and, well, all the Cal grads I worked with at my first company got promoted over me. For two, Berkeley has the worst weather in all of Northern California. For three, and most importantly, I've never personally seen Cal actually win a game.
That's right. Never. You see, I was a student at UW from 1991-1995. Great years. Each one of them. I went to every home game. I went to many road games. It was a great run of football during those years. We had an awesome coach, great fans, true football weather, some pretty decent players, a number one NFL draft pick, an undefeated season and a National Championship. We had success in those years, but nothing was handed to us. Teams rose up and challenged us. We were lucky to get through a few of those games. We lost a few. However, during that time there were only two schools in the PAC that I failed to personally see UW lose to: Oregon State and Cal. Obviously, they must be the two worst teams ever. As it was then, so it is now. More of the Gekko File on Cal following the jump.
- Cal and Washington have one of the longest running college rivalries. They have played each other 87 times with Washington holding a 46-38-3 all-time advantage, including a 24-17-2 advantage in Seattle. They first played each other in the 1916 season. In fact, they played twice that year with Washington winning both times. That was when we claimed Cal as "our biatches" and we haven't since looked back.
- Cal's offense this year is somewhat in flux with a total changing of the guard in the backfield. QB Zach Maynard is a play-making transfer from Buffalo who will try to carry on in the stellar tradition of mediocrity that is Brock Mansion, Kevin Riley and Nate Longshore (what? too soon?). Seriously, he is an exciting, but as-of-yet inconsistent, player who has a couple of weapons on the perimeter in Marvin Jones and half-brother Keenan Allen. Isi Sofele is the unquestioned leader at RB where Cal looks unusually thin this year. One-time UW recruit, Brendan Bigelow, has been sighted and is making noise on the depth chart at RB. The most notable addition to the Cal offense this year may well be one-time UW Offensive Coordinator (for about 20 seconds) Jim Michalzik. He has returned to his old role of Offensive Line coach where he excelled during his previous stint in Berkeley.
- Cal's school motto is "Fiat Lux" which is Latin for "Let there be Light". To the untrained observer, "let there be light" is a euphemism that likely refers to one of two ideas: "let there be salvation" or "let there be knowledge". However, to those of us who have been to or even have lived in the dreary town of Berkeley, we know that this literally means "let the effing sunshine in for chrissakes". Thanks to its position directly east of the Golden Gate, east flowing fog banks have little resistance as they engulf this godforsaken town many days of the summer. It is truly one of the darkest cities you'll ever visit.
- Given the above, is it any wonder that the #1 major at Cal is Electrical Engineering? Yes, I just profiled once again.
- Unlike some other teams that UW will face this year, Cal has a rich but not quite so accomplished history. The last time the Golden Bears played in a Rose Bowl was in 1959 (a pummeling at the hands of Iowa) and, in fact, they've only played in 12 bowl games since that time. It is a testament to Jeff Tedford that seven of those bowl games have been under his watch making talk of a hot seat somewhat absurd. Cal hasn't ever had it so good.
- Speaking of history, I'd be remiss to not point out the obvious UW / Cal connection that is Keith Gilbertson. Keith had a hard time at Berkeley, but he did manage a 9-4 record in 1993 - a season that was capped with an Alamo Bowl win vs Iowa...the revenge for that '59 Rose Bowl
- Whatever happened to DeAndre Coleman? Oh, that's him way down on that depth chart over there.
- Cal does lay claim to being participants, or victims, of some of the most strange plays ever witnessed in the history of college football. Everyone has seen the "The Play" where Cal, with just five seconds on the clock and down by one, fielded a kickoff and used five laterals plus some Stanford band members who secretly worked for Buffalo Wild Wings to score an unlikely TD and win the game. Just as bizarre was the "extra minute" controversy in a 1989 game between Oregon St and Cal at Corvallis. In this one, a "clock malfunction" led to a reset of the game clock. However, instead of resetting to "9:59" in the fourth quarter, the timekeeper added a minute and reset to "10:59". Oregon State used all of the time available kicking the game winning field goal with :24 "remaining" in the game (which, of course, was 36 seconds after time should have expired). Finally, there is the famous case of Wrong-Way Roy Reigels. Wrong-Way was a lineman on the 1929 Rose Bowl team against Georgia Tech. In that game, Reigels recovered a fumble, got turned around and ended up running 65 yards in the wrong direction. His teammates tried to catch up to him and convince him to lateral, but one guy got blocked by a Georgia Tech player and Reigels waved off the other guy and yelled that "this is my TD". Riegels ended up getting tackled on his own 1 yard line. Cal ended up taking a safety on the next play and lost by one point to Tech 8-7.
- For those of you that don't know, Cal Golden Blogs is one of the best fan blogs anywhere. They have several good writers and one crazy one (TwistNHook, I'm talking to you). Seriously - it is a great blog.
- The Cal Defense is viewed as a strength of the team, though they've had mixed results so far this season. There is definitely talent on this squad. Players like Mychal Kendricks, DJ Holt, Trevor Guyton and Josh Hill are names familiar to Husky fans. However, this unit hasn't been challenged by a strong offense yet and they've failed to dominate those that they've played. They come into Washington with a chip on their shoulder and with an opportunity to make a statement against the Pac 12 leader in Passing TDs (Keith Price) and its second leading rusher (Chris Polk).
- Jeff Tedford has had some pretty good players come through his program in the last decade. Guys like DeSean Jackson, Aaron Rodgers, Kyle Boller, Nnamdi Asomugha, Brandon Mebane, Marshawn Lynch, Scott Fujita and Alex Mack are among some of the more recognizable names that Tedford has coached. If it weren't for that nefarious program in LA, Cal would have a few Rose Bowls to be sure.
- California at Berkeley boasts an alumni that reads as a "who's who" of runner-ups, number twos, has-beens and never-made-its. Among the famous alumni promoted on their website, they highlight Tom Anderson, co-founder of MySpace (Facebook), Walter Haas, President of Levi Strauss (Gap), Steve Wozniak, co-founder of some company name Apple (Steve Jobs) and George Takei of Star Trek fame (though they do acknowledge that he actually transferred to UCLA before graduating). They also boast someone named Julie Gerberding. I would have read her bio, but I was too busy cleaning up regurgitated lunch off the kitchen floor.
- Last year's five wins was the worst showing in the Jeff Tedford era. After blowing out ASU in late October, the Bears lost four of their last five having only the gumption to pull out a one score victory over WSU. Of course, we all remember UW's last second victory over Cal in Seattle last year on God's Play. The Bears have actually lost three of their last four against UW after owning us for several straight years dating back to 2002.
California at Washington: A Preview
I'm sure Cal comes into this game feeling pretty good about being 3-0 but uncertain about how good they really are. Early games against Fresno St, Colorado (non-conference) and Presbyterian have failed to answer critical questions about this team. Will Zach Maynard be a quality Pac 12 QB? Will the D-Line emerge as a force? Will Allen and Jones solve their dropsies and become the finest WR tandem in the league? Can the secondary hang with a high powered passing attack? Will their Special Teams correct? Can Tedford handle calling plays again? Can a republican buy a real hamburger in Berkeley?
The reality of the situation is that UW comes in with fewer questions, but more glaringly definitive weaknesses. Offensively, UW looks like it will be able to move the ball against Cal. The offensive line has improved in every game and the left side anchors of Schaefer and Kelemete have been playing at a high level. They have created lanes for Polk, they have executed their roles in the play-action game and they have vastly improved their pass protection from game one. Polk continues to get stronger every week and Keith Price has flat out answered the bell, strong arm or not. Price leads the Pac 12 in passing TDs and has consistently been one of the most efficient QBs in the league despite playing on a couple of compromised wheels. Cal has athletes on Defense and they play very aggressive. In fact, they are second in the Pac 12 in sacks without any single player registering as a league leader. I've only seen the Colorado game, but it appears that they have made ample use of a variety of blitz packages. Interestingly, Cal has their own version of Josh Shirley. Freshman Cecil Whiteside leads the team in sacks with two, but has registered just four tackles over the entire season (all of them for loss).
Defensively, the Huskies are going to struggle against Cal. Jones and Allen are the two finest receivers we will have seen all season ... and it's not even close. The question is whether or not Maynard will get rattled by our as-yet-to-show-up defensive front. He's prone to mistakes and, to date, has not always shown a good sense for when to hang in and and when to run out of a play. He's a tremendous athlete and he has a little gunslinger to him. His arm is better than Taylor Martinez, but he hasn't really shown us his wheels yet. On the year, he's completing just over 50% of his passes and has only 49 yards rushing. There is definitely an opportunity for UW to make a statement here. The reality is that the Husky Defense is more reminiscent of Kent Baer than Jim Lambright. They will no doubt be looking for creative ways to kindle what has been, so far, a non-existent pass rush in this game. Only four Pac 12 teams (Oregon St, WSU, Arizona and ...OREGON) have fewer sacks per game than the Huskies. Regardless, Husky fans will be looking for faster play and greater role discipline from a unit that has performed very poorly despite showing some fight all along the way.
Prediction: Cal 38 - UW 44
I expect this game to be a barn burner. I fully believe that the Huskies are going to get whatever they want on offense between the running game of Chris Polk and the passing attack of Price and his WR corps. Sark has really been solid with his offensive game plans since the EWU debacle and you can see that the O-Line is starting to gain confidence in one another. In addition, UW's receiving corps has been completely as advertised. Every week, a new star has emerged. We've seen flashes from Jermaine Kearse, Devin Aguilar, James Johnson, Kasen Williams and ASJ at different times all season. Who will it be this week? Look for Kasen to have a big day.
On the flip side, I expect Cal to get whatever they want, but to make a few more mistakes along the way. I'm certain that Tedford has kept Maynard's second dimension (his wheels) under wraps specifically targeting this game. My guess is that we'll see the full play book with healthy doses of Marvin Jones, Keenan Allen and Maynard making plays with his arm and legs. Also, don't fall asleep on the Cal running game. Isi and Bigelow have confidence and, I'm sure, are licking their chops at the prospect of playing our D. UW should be playing aggressively on D - Holt will be feeling pressure to blitz more than he is comfortable - and that will lead to big Cal plays in between some big licks delivered by our boys.
There is a feeling that Cal is "due" given our recent history. Price's injury situation, Maynard's gunslinger mentality and the status of Semisi Tokolahi all feel like wild cards to me. I also expect special teams to play a role in this game - an advantage that is most assuredly going to lie with the Cal Bears given their awesome punter (Bryan Anger) and the fact that the refs don't seem to approve of our Special Teams Unit. Nevertheless, I like that UW has been tested by better competition so far. I believe that they are playing at a higher level of "game speed" coming off their battle with Nebraska and I choose to believe that this will translate to a definitive momentum advantage early in the game.
Other Predictions:
...Nick Montana will make his first pass attempt as a collegian - and it will be completed
...Jessie Callier FINALLY finds the end zone for the first time
...Isi Sofele will have a surprisingly good game and gash us for 100 yards
...Brandon Bigelow will not
...Garrett Gililand will get some significant run and Crazi will officially go out of his mind
...DeAndre Coleman will get into the game and none of us will notice
...UW will win the battle of intangibles handily
Thoughts? Predictions? Snide comments? Leave them below or get banned.
(Editors Note : This article has been edited to remove paragraphs which we feel crossed the when it comes to perpetuating racial stereotypes. I do believe that it was an innocent attempt at humor by the writer which happened to backfire. That being said I want to apologize to all the members and visitors of our blog who were offended. This is not what we are about as a group and I personally apologize for not editing this sooner.)
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Our special teams are very special this year. 3 blocked PATs, 1 blocked punt – all against us. Anger – while he can be all-universe, has struggled this year.
I would note that the President of the Gap (Donald Fisher) is also a Cal grad.
Haha. I hope you appreciate the intent of this post.
And, I did note the struggles on ST. But it is relative. UW has been atrocious outside of placekicking.
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 21, 2011 5:42 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I will critique your epistemological rubric another time. For now, let us remember that
Cal’s 72-3 pounding of Washington at Berkeley in 1921 remains the biggest beatdown the Huskies have ever taken on the road. When they whipped us 56-17 in 2005, no one had ever before scored that many points against Washington at home. (It remains the record, but the Nebbies now share with Cal the honor of dropping 56 on us in our own house.)
Don’t be fooled by their rhetoric and the dopey attitude: hippies are dangerous. Shoot to kill.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 21, 2011 6:58 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Gregory Peck
He was a proud graduate of Cal and a member of their varsity rowing team while at Berkeley.
UW Dawg Pound - SBN Seattle
I stopped reading after someone from Seattle was making fun of the weather in Berkeley. There are a lot of things that Washingtonites could probably make fun of Berkeleyites for, but weather??? really?
here’s the 10 day forecast for seattle: http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/Seattle+WA+USWA0395
and here’s berkeley:
http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/Berkeley+CA+USCA0087
Just a piece of advice, insults are funnier when they are actually true.
by ryandrew on Sep 21, 2011 9:24 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Ya, but
I’ll take our rain and CLEAN air over their sun and SMOG, any day of the week!
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
“sun and smog”
again, you have to fill me in here. is this supposed to be an insult. or just funny. or irony that’s supposed to be funny. i seriously have no idea what passes as humor around here.
Generally WSU, Oregon (and now Asian) jokes
and making fun of places that are worse than Seattle…which is everywhere.
Actually, the Bay Area has a good solution for our smog
It all gets blown into the central valley.
The #1 greatest threat to America: BEARS
by norcalnick on Sep 21, 2011 4:42 PM PDT via iPhone app up reply actions
I saw that yesterday . . .
I flew into Stockton (wow, that place stinks!). Lucky for me, I was only there long enough to go to In N Out Burger!
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
I could always tell when I was getting
close to home when driving from LA to WA when I hit Stockton. Smelled like the farm I grew up on. Good move on the In n Out!
by hairofthedawg on Sep 22, 2011 7:02 AM PDT up reply actions
Nice article, but you are far too generous with regards to Cal QB Brock Mansion
He was never able to attain the heights of mediocrity achieved by Longshore and Riley.
I support the NBA player's union.
Couple of ?'s about UW
Unfortunately, the Cal games have been aired at the same time as the Washington games, so I’ve only watched them in passing. But what I did notice is:
1) Has Polk lost a step? The dude is still a great runner, but I remember him having more breakaway speed.
2) What have been the issues with pass defense? Is it the fact you’ve run up against two spread attacks with experienced qbs, or do the problems lie with a positional group (no pressure from Dline or coverage from DBs)
I support the NBA player's union.
Answers (IMO)
1) Polk was supposedly in the fastest shape of his life in fall camp. However, that knee injury probably set him back a little bit. He has always been more of a bruiser than a real “homerun threat on any given play” kind of guy.
2) The opponents have something to do with it, to be sure. In these first couple of games our defense, from what I can tell, has been based on limiting big plays and letting the opposing offense eventually sputter. Holt has made a big point of how much it hurts the defensive scheme when the opposition starts with good field position because it greatly reduces the likelihood of the offense stalling before they get in scoring range. If I had to put my finger on one “problem”, it would be that our guys are just flat out thinking too much and not playing fast enough to get into the proper positions.
Nice post!
As someone who went to school in Berkeley and has been living in Seattle (well technically the super awesome suburb of Bellevue /s) for the past two years, I have some thoughts:
- Weather in Seattle is worse than Berkeley. At least we don’t get the SNOWPOCALYPSE there. But not that much worse. Also I prefer Berkeley summer over Seattle summer. That said SoCal weather sucks.
- Drivers in Berkeley > Puget Sound drivers. Pedestrians in Seattle > pedestrians in puget sound
- As an Asian (well Indian but last I checked India is part of asia) EE&CS grad, I disagree with your notion that we don’t know what Fiat Lux means. But then again I’m weird.
Football comments:
- Don’t expect Bigelow to get a lot of playing time. He’s still new and taking things carefully.
- DeAndre Coleman is still there. He’s a RS Soph and our DL gets subbed quite often. We don’t have anyone really dominant on the DL thus far so it’s hard to see who’s who (other than Frosh “Tiny” Moala but that’s only because he’s 350lbs).
- Longshore was good prior to him getting injured (dirty blindside hit by Oregon player in 07). The team was in a freefall when we lost to you in ‘07. No way in hell should we have lost to a Ty Willingham coached UW team at that point.
- Mansion is not good. Thank god he is 3rd string.
- Maynard has thus far thrown 1 pick per game (one returned for TD vs Presby).
- The receivers drop way too many passes. It almost always are the easiest passes. But they catch the impossible ones.
- Don’t sleep on TE Anthony Miller. He too has the dropsies but he is a real weapon in the passing game
- Whiteside hasn’t really played much and IIRC he is basically just a pure pass rusher at the moment so that’s why you see such weird stats.
- Colorado’s Richardson was matched up with CB Marc Anthony (with and w/o safety help) and constantly burnt him. But as soon as he matched up with CB Steve Williams, he was stopped.
- Cal has (3 games in) an excellent red zone offense and a great red zone defense. We’ll see how that holds up.
- Maynard has an uncanny ability to convert third and longs (and an occasional 1st and 30). Again we’ll see how that holds up.
- Our special team (as LeonPowe says) is… special (I made this comment first after our Fresno St game dammit!). 3 missed XPs! Stupid rugby style punts. Missed blocks on punts against Presby! We turned a world class punter into someone pedestrian. KOs are crap (KO coverage has been decent however).
- We commit way too many penalties.
So my opinion is that this game is a toss up. If our defense can rebound and play as well as it did vs Fresno (or as it did last year against you guys), we can win. Otherwise, uh oh. One thing is for sure: this isn’t the 2009 team that got blown out in Seattle.
I’ll be at the game and hopefully won’t freeze my ass off again (it’s been raining on and off on the Eastside this past week so hopefully Saturday is fine)
In other words, Go Bears!
+1
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
Work hasn't been kind
Just starting on it now, hopefully have it out in a few hours.
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
Ouch
But I’m not letting go of the tangible bit
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 21, 2011 4:40 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Seattle
For me (man I was tempted to refer to myself in the fictional third person just now), my convenient truth is that Cal sucks. There are many reasons for this. For one, I lived in San Francisco and, well, all the Cal grads I worked with at my first company got promoted over me. For two, Berkeley has the worst weather in all of Northern California. For three, and most importantly, I’ve never personally seen Cal actually win a game.
It seems that your life experiences caused you to be bitter against a whole school and group of people.
How does someone from Seattle complain about Berkeley weather? (BTW I question if you’ve really lived/worked here. SF the city, by far, has the worst weather in the bay area. Did you really work here?)
I work with plenty of Stanfurd, Davis, UCLA and internationally-educated people. I’ve never seen promotion bias in my line of work and imagine that’s the exception in any white-collar company.
FWIW, my brother got his graduate degree at UW and I found the Seattle area to be very lush and beautiful. It’s a cool city with a relatively small downtown and great coffee.
My desire for a total dawg-domination this Saturday doesn’t blind to that.
Gekko has his own biases
You might change your opinion of him when you discover the bias he has against Stanford…
by kirkd on Sep 21, 2011 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wow. It gets better.
The reason the motto is in Latin is because they know that none of their Asian academic recruits will know what it means and, thus, won’t be tempted by the fun and sun at another fine UC establishment: UCLA. Yes, I did just crack an Asian profile. I am Gekko the Profiler. Move on.
Given the above, is it any wonder that the #1 major at Cal is Electrical Engineering? Yes, I just profiled once again.
Huh? Is this an attempt at comedy?
Do you guys lack asians in Seattle (home of Microsoft and Amazon who employ countless (asian-american) software developers)?
lighten up Francis
Yes, it’s comedy, and no, we don’t lack for those of Asian descent here in the PNW.
SF has the worst weather?
I guess you’ve never been to Pacifica or Bodega Bay
Also expecting a total dog fight
But I have Cal winning by 1 TD or less.
I wouldn’t expect a lot of yardage from Bigelow. He’s slowly being folded into our offense and will likely just have a role on KOR. At RB, it’ll be Sofele and CJ Anderson (on 3rd and short situations).
I watched part of the UW/Hawaii game so I’m expecting a good match up. I think a big factor is how mobile Price is come Saturday. Colorado’s QB was able to evade pressure and make tough passes all game which is the biggest factor that made the game a close one. If Price can’t roll out of the pocket I expect our defense to own.
Well against my better judgment I kept reading this rather odd post (is it supposed to be funny? ironic? sardonic? I don’t know). So let me try to summarize this: you don’t like Cal because
a) our weather sucks
b) too many asians
c) Cal people and their damn fancy degrees get promoted ahead of you
Oh and apparently Asians don’t know Latin, but regular white “americans” do. gotcha!
is it supposed to be funny?
Yes. The Gekko’s post is supposed to be funny. I think I speak for most of us here when I say that Cal is one of the schools in the conference whom we, as Huskies, generally wish well. if it had been meant to convey the kind of pure, vitriolic hatred that most here have for the Ducks or the Cougars, that would have shone through bright and clear.
I apologize if you do not find it your liking. I will see if I can find someone else to taunt you a second time.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 21, 2011 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
You'd know if we didn't like you
the fact that you have to ask should be reason enough to lighten up.
Thanks Ryan. Some replies
A) it does
B) I never said “too many”, but you did
C) Sadly, true
There was a little football in there too
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 21, 2011 4:50 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
oh wait I forgot one.
d) too many EECS majors
yeah, damn that university who only produces EECS majors who go on to become rich and famous and who create jobs in silicon valley. If only more Cal students would major in Social Welfare.
Or maybe . . .
We don’t like Cal . . . . . because we are playing you this week. Geez, it doesn’t take much for you guys to get your panties in a bunch!
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
oh, i get it now, thanks for the clarification. let me try
i don’t like washington because i don’t like bill gates because he’s doesn’t give any of his money to charity. zing.
am i catching on?
why not? my statement makes no sense and is not funny at all.
by ryandrew on Sep 21, 2011 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
you’re a bit slow aren’t you? its ok. I’m off to the coug board where they at least have some witty comebacks, rather than the oh so funny comeback, “well at least we don’t have smog.”
Be warned:
I’m off to the coug board
The Coug obsession with fecal matter is meant to be neither funny nor ironic.
and their obsession with sheep
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
Ryan, you aren't killing it in this whole "rival banter" thing
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 21, 2011 4:53 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
More than a convenient truth, THE truth!
Son, someday you will make a girl very happy, for a short period of time. Then she will leave you and be with new men who are ten times better than you could ever hope to be. These men are called pilots.
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
I'm a grad student at Berkeley right now and would really love to see a win this weekend.
by Edgar for Pres on Sep 21, 2011 12:41 PM PDT reply actions
you touched a nerve Gekko
Apparently some Cal fans are intolerant of a bit of fun being poked at their favorite school. They are also apparently unable to discern when someone is being intentionally humorous and fail to see clues like:
Yes, I did just crack an Asian profile. I am Gekko the Profiler. Move on.
Or:
For me (man I was tempted to refer to myself in the fictional third person just now), my convenient truth is that Cal sucks.
They also failed to notice the clues of you cracking jokes about notable Dawg Pound community members.
I’m hoping more Cal fans come by and convince us that this lack of humor among them is an aberration.
I would have never suspected that the Bears would be so sensitive about Berkeley’s weather.
Just think of the flaming trolls we’d have here now if Gekko had mocked their transit system.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 21, 2011 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I don’t think you UW guys are getting it? Cal people don’t care if they are being mocked. We get mocked all the time, we are used to it. Go check out CGB, we mock ourselves. I think the problem most Cal fans are having is that your so called “mockings” aren’t funny and are downright lame.
“oh look at the crappy weather in berkeley” – explain to me how that’s remotely funny?
And why would you make fun of the smog in the bay area, when the bay area doesn’t have any?
and the whole asians can’t speak latin? that’s not insulting, nor funny, its just odd.
So yeah, maybe, I don’t know, try to be funny and come up with some original material and then us Cal fans will have a sense of humor.
by phillaak23 on Sep 21, 2011 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
LIGHTEN UP!!!
As a pilot, I can say with 100% certainty that YES you do have smog in the Bay Area. Not as much as LA, but far more than we have here. The air just gets thicker as you fly south!
I’m starting to think that Cal fans are too “smart” to understand humor, we blue collar folks aren’t worthy of your presence on our blog. Or, maybe, Cal fans have been breeding with Vulcans. At least it’s not sheep (Wazzu).
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
there you go. see, now that’s funny, because our transit does suck. you guys are getting the hang of this now.
my job here is now done.
Now THAT is going to be entertaining!
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
i think the Cal contributions on this thread may have materially impacted Bugs' upcoming piece...
…. just a thought.
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
thanks for having my back Kirk. You will always be my favorite butt of jokes.
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 21, 2011 8:18 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm glad you added the "...of jokes" to that statement...
by kirkd on Sep 21, 2011 9:22 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
so am I...
I’m having to deal with the results of allowed service by gays in the military on the bathroom walls over here. It’s not pretty.
by hairofthedawg on Sep 22, 2011 7:05 AM PDT up reply actions
Nice work, Gekko
I’m driving 10 hours roundtrip from Spokane to see this one, so the dawgs better win!
congrats, your amazing post just made it to Cal’s main message board.
http://bearinsider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47656
If you click on the link, you will find even more way too sensitive Cal fans with no sense of humor. Or maybe, at some point, you begin to ask yourself….hmmmm….yeah maybe making weather jokes about berkeley isn’t as funny as I thought. nah, can’t be, my humor is superior to all others. these cal people just have no sense of humor. yep.
Congratulations!
Your amazing post has earned you the ridicule of your fellow Bears:
Quote:
Originally Posted by drunkoski
if you really want to get annoyed check out UW dawgpound: http://www.uwdawgpound.com/2011/9/21…ile-california
i was particurally offended when he said berkeley had the worst weather in no cal. obviously he’s spent no time in the sunset district.Between this comment and the cheating comment, I firmly believe that you guys have no ability whatsoever to spot sarcasm. These guys are joking around. You may or may not find them funny but they’re clearly not serious. Kenny Mayne always often calls penalties “cheating” and many others do too. It’s a joke.
Seriously, get those sticks that are shoved up your a$$es surgically removed and learn to not take everything everyone writes so literally.
LOL...
… the poster actually has a point. The weather DOES suck in the sunset district. My first house was near there in the Stonestown area.
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
So confused...
Please forgive the Gekko’s weather snafu: he’s not actually a Washingtonian; he lives in Tennessee.
My first house was near there in the Stonestown area.
A fan of a team from Seattle who has lived in SF’s Lakeshore/Parkside district and Tennessee thinks Berkeley’s weather sucks?!
Is it the oppressive lack of humidity, tornadoes and flooding? The Mediterranean climate’s mild winters without snow or ice? The moderate rainfall? The above average (and 2.5-3x Seattle’s) annual number of sunny days?
Between you and me ...
… Gekko doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She is insane.
We know little about the creature that is Gekko but for that her internet name is “Minny C.” Our best hypothesis posits that Minny is a bright and unbalanced forty-six-year-old Oregon alumnae who’s never been outside the Eugene city limits. As a young and ugly duckling (even by Eugene standards), Minny longed for nothing more than to escape to Stanford, where her dream life would unfold, but, bright as she is, she was nowhere near bright enough to get into Stanford (and let’s face it: their standards are not as high as they’d have us think). This is why Minny hates Stanford, but it also explains her subconscious loathing of Cal. Her subconscious still identifies with the Tree, which manifests itself through a passive-aggressive attitude toward the Bears that is highly confused, as evidenced by the very post we are here to discuss.
Sadly, Minny’s insecurities do not allow her to live out her ideal fantasy. Instead, her low self-esteem doomed her dreamworld identity to that of a Husky, that entity despised more than any other by Duckdom. In reality, Minny sits in a dank Eugene basement of her parents’ house in a tie-dyed muumuu eating tofu pastries all day long and desperately trying not to think about a virginity she will never lose. But in her “mind,” Minny vicariously lives out a bizarre and imaginative fantasy life of what she perceives to be “cool” here at the Dawg Pound, the internet home of her own kind’s most hated enemy, which she adopted as her own home and identity due to the sad but understandable hatred that she has for the vile creature that is herself.
We tolerate and encourage her not because we worry that, given the extent of her psychological damage, Minny C. would lose her tenuous grip on reality and scream from her parents’ house to kill people. We keep her here because we know that this is inevitable. We waste a resource such as she? We are slowly and carefully feeding and stoking the worst of her insecurities and hatreds so that, when the empire that is Duckdom reaches its most atrocious climax, she will have been perfected as our ultimate doomsday weapon. With the utterance of but a word (or the stroke of a few keys), she will be poised to go on an insane rampage that could, if all goes as planned, take out the entire Duck machine.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 21, 2011 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
You forgot to mention that she is very overweight and that she eats small children
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 22, 2011 4:47 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
It Never Fogs at Memorial Stadium!
Berkeley definitely gets fog that rolls through the Gate and straight across the Bay at certain times of year. Generally it burns off by mid-morning and stays away until late afternoon / early evening. SF and the cities along the coast get it way worse but inland areas or the South Bay are consistently warmer than the inner Bay year round.
But it makes for awesome time lapses
September/October are usually pretty much perfect in Berkeley. 75 degrees right now looking west from the Berkeley Hills:

don't get me wrong...
…I love the Bay Area. One of my favorite places to visit. And Strawberry Canyon looks like a terrific spot for a stadium (though you’ll forgive me if I think Husky Stadium is in an even better spot). I actually need to spend more time checking out Berkeley and the Cal campus, as I’ve only driven through that part of the Bay Area once.
Just backing up the claim that Berkeley gets foggy is all.
(and don’t kill me if I say that I love the Stanford campus)
The Farm
and its adobe buildings double as the design template for Taco Bell.
by LeonPowe on Sep 21, 2011 7:00 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
ah
I like the adobe architecture style of the Stanford campus – it fits the climate and is a nice alternative to the standard collegiate gothic style found on many campuses.
I’m also a fan of Rodin, so their sculpture collection adds to my like of the campus.
That has nothing to do with it.
The point is that there seem to be plenty of people on that board who are able to tell that Gekko’s post was meant to be humor. Even if you or drunkoski fail to find Gekko’s post funny, other members on that board recognize that it is intended to be funny, and have even gone so far as to point out humor’s subjectivity. Yet, despite the fact that drunkoski was mocked for his inability to grasp humor or irony, you cite his lack of wit as evidence for whatever it is that your purport which, frankly, is rather murky.
Your point has been made. You don’t find Gekko’s post funny. We are not stupid. We understand. Fortunately for you, there are plenty of other things to see on the big, wide, internet. The reiteration of your position, in this forum, ad nauseum, meets the definition of trolling.
Sorry Huskie dudes
Whether or not the jokes are funny is besides the point, I’m sorry my fellow CGBers (and BI guys) were so tone deaf. We’re not usually this thin skinned.
Carry on.
Am I known as Cugel the Clever for nothing?
That’s gracious of you to say. These things happen from time to time, and many of us, myself included, have made excuses to make mischief for the sake of sport. We don’t take it personally and did not mean to seriously offend the men and women of UCB.
Good luck on Saturday.
I think it was just a strange list of targets for Berkeley. I mean what is usually mocked about Cal:
HIppies
Hippies in trees
Pot smoking
Academics and a campus that is often hostile to football
NERDS
unattractive women (not saying its true, saying we’re mocked for it)
Communist/Socialist politics
Odd things to make fun of Berkeley for:
The weather
Latin motto
Smog
Its not that whether its funny or not, its just . . .head scratching.
true...
… but I get counted among the nerdy Hippie who smokes pot in trees crowd, so the typical jokes don’t work for me.
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 21, 2011 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
What were you saying to me? I musta missed it.
The internet's most successful troll!
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs: Read It | Follow It | Like It | Wear It
I was amused by most of this post
Except for the prediction of Cal losing, and the bit about Berkeley weather which made me go all Philip J. Fry squintyface.
(Also I could have sworn that phillaak guy was a ’furd fan. Or a poker player.)
"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.
It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0
Hhmmm . . . .
Seems like you should be use to the idea of losing to the Huskies. You guys have given us a few much needed wins during our rebuilding process, and for that, we will be forever grateful.
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Legends are made on the shores of Lake Washington"
I guess...
the sting of those losses may be tempered by the fact that they all came at the end of generally disappointing seasons when expectations had been pretty well beaten down, especially ‘07 and last year. Tedford’s still 6-3 against UW and a lot of younger fans have no memory/knowledge of the streak. I’m kind of shocked to see the series record is as close as it is (38-46-3) honestly.
I actually enjoined parts of the post but ...
could it be certain fans have no sense of humor and certain posts aren’t all that funny?
On behalf of the many CAL grads who were promoted past UW grads a couple of observations…
Washington was involved with two of the most extreme games from my undergrad days in cold, foggy, dreary, un-Seattle-like Berkeley.
1989… game was immediately after the Loma Prieta earthquake. Nobody was there. In honor of the huskies we had a rainstorm of biblical proportions… the huge drops pounding on the aluminum bleachers made it sound like we were playing in a tympani drum…. since we were in the middle of some super long losing streak to you, I’m pretty sure we lost but I have no idea what the score was.
The 1991 CAL / Washington Game was one of the best games I have ever attended, even though the wrong team lost. The atmosphere in Memorial was absolutely electric… a packed house… a beautiful day and an epic contest.
Finally…
Of course, we all remember UW’s last second victory over Cal in Seattle last year on God’s Play.
I was at the game last year. I was wet. I was depressed. It was in Berkeley.
I’m usually pithier than this… but it’s late.
1989 and 1991 UW - Cal Games
I lived in the Bay Area from ’87 – ’93, and attended both of these games. Your recollections are spot on. In ’89, the rain really came down in the 2nd half. Strangely, what I remember most (other than one of my friends being heckled out of his red rain coat, not for being a Husky), was UW returning a blocked PAT for 2 points – the first year (I think) that rule was in place.
’91 was incredible. Back and forth, including long TD runs by both teams. Cal was deep in UW territory at the end of the game, with a 4th down pass just missing right in front of us in the Husky section. It was crazy. Closest, IMO, that we came to losing that year.
Good luck Saturday. BTW, I really miss Flints BBQ. Too bad it closed!
So I used to live on 66th street (along with the starting QB, LG and OLB from the 91 team) right by Flints BBQ . We would go there all the time… but I gotta tell you, I always thought it was pretty expensive for what you got… and i HATED the potato salad… and yeah, that was not a nice neighborhood…
Now that you bring it up, I sort of remember that blocked extra point now! Go over to the CGB and bring that up… we love our special teams! But the only thing I really remember about the ‘89 game is the rain… and just how empty it was. I mean there was almost no one there… I think they may have announced attendance that day as 15,000 or so… FiatSlug, should he come on this sight will confirm that (we have weird obsessions with attendance…). but my guess there weren’t that many. Which made it such an amazing contract to the ‘91 game which was absolutely packed and rockin’.
I hope we win comfortably on Saturday, but I don’t count on anything in a road game, especially in Seattle. So a reluctant good luck to you too ;-)
I rarely went to the 66th street location, and never the 14th street. The one on Shattuck, just on the Oakland-Berkely boarder was safest. And yes, the potato salad and white bread were only good for putting out the fire of the sauce.
The whole experience in ’89 was just kind of surreal – weather, small crowd, aftermath of the earthquake. It did have a weird feel. Who was the QB in ’91? I recall you guys finished up doing quite well in a bowl game that year, and I think he ended up in the NFL for a bit.
There wasn’t one on 66th (I should have made that clear) the Shattuck location was at 66th… that was a sketchy neighborhood to be sure.
QB was Mike Pawlawski. He has an outdoor show now and does color for PAC 12 games.
We finished ’91 demolishing Clemson in the Citrus Bowl on New Years Day and finishing in the top 10 for the first time in forever. It was a glorious year. Most Old Blues feel that had Snyder not been screwed and left CAL after that season we would have gone to the Rose Bowl in ’92… sigh….
Cal on the road
I hope we win comfortably on Saturday, but I don’t count on anything in a road game, especially in Seattle. So a reluctant good luck to you too ;-)
Most of us Husky fans are feeling quite nervous about our defense so far this year, and while we like our offense, Keith Price is also playing on two gimpy knees which has taken away his scrambling ability.
The one thing I’m counting on this Saturday is Cal struggling on the road. Losing this game would be a bad omen for the rest of the season for us.
That's right! Why did I say Seattle?
Must’ve been the weather!
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 22, 2011 5:22 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
One more thing...
I hope you learned your lesson..
You do not – DO NOT – insult the weather in Berkeley. We clear?
I acknowledge the flogging that I have received
…and will not commit weather abuse again
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 22, 2011 4:49 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Good stuff
aside from the confusing weather comment (which has been covered ad nauseum), appreciate the insight and the humor. I wasn’t an EECS major and am not Asian, so i don’t take any issue with that stuff…which may be true for all i know. Sorry so many Cal folks didn’t get the intent of this post, it’s clearly all in good fun. I think each fanbase has teams we hate far more than each other.
Looking forward to a good game on Saturday (I hope). your offense will move the ball, so i hope our offense does too. Should be a good one.
cheers boys.
PS: since i guess i should say something negative about Washington…your school colors are gay. ZING?
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
ZING!
since i guess i should say something negative about Washington…your school colors are gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
OH SNAP
Just got a site warning for my “homophobic slur”. Apologies if anyone was offended. I guess.
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
And we are truly overwhelmed by the sincerity of your contrition.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 22, 2011 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions
</3
seriously though, didn’t mean to cross any lines. my bad. really like your site.
good luck on Saturday.
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
I appreciate that. I really like yours, too.
There are only two Pac-12 schools that I would let my children attend. Cal is the other one.
We value our relationship with the Bears, and I am very sorry that this post hit the nerve that it did.
Best of luck on Saturday.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 22, 2011 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions
don't apologize
nothing wrong with this post. there may have been a Bay Area-wide sarcasm meter failure that no one reported yesterday. Lucky for me I’m in Colorado and was not affected.
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
Yep. I live in Denver so the trip up to Boulder for the Cal game was a no-brainer. I’d seen a few Buffs games in person during the Dan Hawkins era, and the crowd for the Cal game was much bigger and louder. Really fun gameday environment.
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
My ex-wife works at CU. She got an campus-wide email shortly beore the game began begging people to come at a discount. So I suppose that’s good to hear about their attendance and attitude. I went to grad school at Nebraska, and I’m not a huge Husker fan (especially not after the recent series), but I’m predisposed to dislike the Buffs because of my Husker ties. Boulder’s a gorgeous town, though, and CU has a beautiful campus. It’s a crime that it’s become so expensive.
no Buffs fan here either
since i’m not a native Coloradoan, i root for all of the local sports to suck. the sports talk radio is much more amusing when teams like CU and the Broncos are down.
When we first moved out to Colorado, we lived in Boulder for the first 7 months. I much prefer Denver, but I see the appeal Boulder holds for wealthy ex-hippies and college kids.
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
And Orkans…
How did we not have a meme about this???

by fiatlux on Sep 22, 2011 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
MEME FAIL
I…I don’t know how we missed that. The Mork and Mindy house is almost as famous in Boulder as the house where Jonbenet Ramsey’s parents murdered lost her.
I am a Bear. We Are Cal.
I wanted to be a Nuggets fan because of my love for Karl (I moved to Denver well after the Sonics had been stolen, but I’ve just come to hate the NBA too much to root for them). The Bronco Hell amuses me endlessly. I was the same way when I lived in Lincoln, too. I could only root for the Huskers after I left for Baton Rouge, and, once there I rooted against the Saints, Hornets, and TIgers.
Denver is a great city. It combines my favorite things about Spokane and Seattle.
You flatter me all the more given that I hold yours in such esteem. I would be honored were you to accept the friendly wager of a pint over this Saturday’s contest between the fine young men of Washington and California.
……………..you’re talking about football right?
Number one fan of Justin Bieber being the number one fan of the Dodgers, and not the [2010 World Series Champion] Giants.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 22, 2011 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Football? I’m talking about cruising Colfax for hookers.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 22, 2011 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Whitney > Rainier.
OH WHAAAAAAAT!
Number one fan of Justin Bieber being the number one fan of the Dodgers, and not the [2010 World Series Champion] Giants.
Rainier more like LAMEier straight up yo!
Number one fan of Justin Bieber being the number one fan of the Dodgers, and not the [2010 World Series Champion] Giants.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 22, 2011 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions
At least we're not home to that butt ugly Mount Shasta,
and, if we were, we’d have shown more creativity than naming it after a soda, however delightfully refeshing that soda might be.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 22, 2011 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
….and louder! In general, I think Mt. Hood has much better fans!
Number one fan of Justin Bieber being the number one fan of the Dodgers, and not the [2010 World Series Champion] Giants.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 22, 2011 3:55 PM PDT up reply actions
+1
Hood is to the Cascade volcanoes what Duck cheerleaders are to Pac-12 cheerleaders: not only are the both of them gorgeous, the boys from Oregon are too inept to climb either.
by Bugs Dodger on Sep 22, 2011 4:00 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions 6 recs
lulz I can rec this.
Number one fan of Justin Bieber being the number one fan of the Dodgers, and not the [2010 World Series Champion] Giants.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 22, 2011 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions
I had to go open a beer
Just so I could spit it out with laughter.
Well, that, and I wanted a beer.
by Sundodger on Sep 22, 2011 5:28 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
That and you were already four fingers into that bottle of scotch
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 24, 2011 2:12 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
This thread started out in rocky fashion...
… but finished strong- just like a pint o Anchor Steam and a night at the Holy Cow
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 22, 2011 5:26 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Oh… my…god… I’m old enough to remember when the Holy Cow opened… and when it was The Stud before that… that’s right… not sure if you knew that…
Haha, I didn't know that it was the Stud
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 22, 2011 6:25 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Good recovery from what started as an….odd thread (other Cal fans reactions surprised me)….
That said, I think you’re a bit off on Deandre Coleman. Dude has shown some dominant flashes so far in his young career, and he does get on the field this year – I actually expect him to be starting before the year is over. He’s just still young and doesn’t play at a consistently high level yet…but he’s definitely shown some talent. Having seen the likes of Tyson Alualu, Cam Jordan, Brandon Mebane and Lorenzo Alexander come through in recent years, I’d say the same things about their play early in their careers, too….
Yes. What he said. Very bitter
Damn, my eyeball tastes good.
@chrislandon
by Gekko Mojo on Sep 24, 2011 2:10 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions

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