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Around SBN: How The Kings Beat The Coyotes: Lather, Rinse, Repeat

The worlds most interesting quarterback

Jake Locker has received more attention in the media this off season than perhaps any other player who has ever worn the purple and gold. You could say that he is the "Worlds Most Interesting Quarterback.

Despite all the coverage we were able to dig up a few fun facts about Jake that may have escaped your attention.

  • He once performed a miracle, but refuses to talk about it.
  • It is said he can converse with Malamutes.
  • Women hang on his every word, even the prepositions.
  • He can speak French in Russian.
  • Sharks have a week dedicated to him.
  • The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.
  • Only the second individual on record able to part the Red Sea.
  • Women say he tastes like chocolate.
  • His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it.
  • His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
  • Every time he swims in Lake Washington dolphins mysteriously appear.
  • If he were to give you directions, you would never get lost, and you would arrive five minutes early.
  • If he would mail a letter without postage, it would still get there
  • When it is raining, it is because he thinking about something sad.
  • An opposing defensive lineman once said his blood smells like cologne.
  • If he we’re to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.
  • His talent is so magnetic he is unable to carry credit cards.
  • Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
  • His organ donation card also lists his throwing arm.
  • His parents were named after him.
  • Chuck Norris has a poster of Jake on the wall. He secretly wishes it was autographed.
  • Alien abductors have asked him, to probe them.
  • He counts his chickens before they hatch...and they always hatch.
  • His hindsight is 20/10.
  • Fish need a license to be caught by him.
  • He can split atoms with his bare hands.
  • His sweat has been bottled, fermented, and made into a fine cognac.

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And I'll Be There!

live and in person to see Jake “go off” at BYwho. GO DAWGS!!

Washington Husky Football-"Hear the bark, feel the bite!"

by dawgfan22 on Aug 24, 2010 7:14 AM PDT reply actions  

Duck Stud?

That’s an oxymoron isn’t it?

Washington Husky Football-"Hear the bark, feel the bite!"

by dawgfan22 on Aug 24, 2010 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Is that ... Dare I say it ...

COMEDY???

What, did I accidentally link over to ATQ?

Damn, my eyeball tastes good.

by Gekko Mojo on Aug 24, 2010 7:54 AM PDT reply actions  

I don't know about you guys

But a snifter full of Locker VSOP sounds delightful.

by B Money on Aug 24, 2010 8:37 AM PDT via mobile reply actions  

He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels. dos equis my friends.

I'm all about covering the spread and moneylines. Glory favors the bold. Chance favors the prepared mind. Luck, well i have that too. University of Utah goes to the Pac-12 conference in 2011. I expect them to compete immediately for the conference CG. Brock Lesnar will defeat Cain Velasquez. Womens MMA, the next big thing in sports. 10 days till the first game of college football. UTAH vs Pitt. September 2nd 2010.

by wolfmanshowlforever on Aug 24, 2010 8:44 AM PDT reply actions  

I think it was an awkward three years while Willingham was here.

by John Berkowitz on Aug 24, 2010 8:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

You got me there. I'm expecting a 10-3 or 9-4 season this year with a bowl win.

I'm all about covering the spread and moneylines. Glory favors the bold. Chance favors the prepared mind. Luck, well i have that too. University of Utah goes to the Pac-12 conference in 2011. I expect them to compete immediately for the conference CG. Brock Lesnar will defeat Cain Velasquez. Womens MMA, the next big thing in sports. 10 days till the first game of college football. UTAH vs Pitt. September 2nd 2010.

by wolfmanshowlforever on Aug 24, 2010 8:54 AM PDT up reply actions  

Nice....

Finally a true optimist in the mix! My thoughts are identical…“if” they simply execute with the energy and urgency of a hungry dawgpack …they have enought talent and athleticism to run and throw the ball for 2/3rds of the possession clock and I think this with the addition of a far more aggressive and confident D scheme will force opponents to greatly improve their punting game! Get in and get out of Provo peddle to the metal!

by gliderdawg on Aug 24, 2010 9:23 AM PDT up reply actions  

When Jake Crosses the road..

Traffic stops & looks both ways.

Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed to make sure Jake isn’t there.

If Jake ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, they’d make it for him.
 

by MaltbyDawg on Aug 24, 2010 9:05 AM PDT reply actions  

Here's Some More:

The Bionic Man keeps asking Jake where he got his arms & legs.

The NRA has gone on record saying Jake’s Arm is exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind when crafting the 2nd Amendment.

Jake sets off Police radar guns just from thinking about his next move.

When faced with the thought of opposing him, some Beavers go insane and have to be tazed into submission.

by MaltbyDawg on Aug 24, 2010 9:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nice

He IS the most interesting QB in the world.

You left out the time when he went to the Ocean, found and fixed a satelite then threw it back into orbit.

Last PAC-10 Rose Bowl winner not named USC....Washington

by DAWGFATHER91 on Aug 24, 2010 11:39 AM PDT reply actions  

Jake Locker found a genie bottle and when the genie came out it gave himself three wishes.

I'm all about covering the spread and moneylines. Glory favors the bold. Chance favors the prepared mind. Luck, well i have that too. University of Utah goes to the Pac-12 conference in 2011. I expect them to compete immediately for the conference CG. Brock Lesnar will defeat Cain Velasquez. Womens MMA, the next big thing in sports. 10 days till the first game of college football. UTAH vs Pitt. September 2nd 2010.

by wolfmanshowlforever on Aug 24, 2010 12:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

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