I like football.  A lot.  That said, I'll be the first to admit that it takes $50 to get me to care about the outcome of the Northeast Arkansas State Tech. vs. Southeastern Mississippi State at Mobile (NEAST vs. SEMSUM to the hardcore) game.  Here's a guide, so you too can get a grip of cash this weekend, while actually enjoying mid-major football.  Or get drunk, your choice.

 The verdict is after the jump. 

Disclaimer:  I am not a professional handicapper, I am merely a college football fan who happens to gamble.  This is a weekly fanpost that I'll be trying to get out on Monday or Tuesday after most of the lines open for the weekends games.  If you take my advice and place a bet, please don't come knocking on my door asking for your money back.  I'll be long since passed out.  Odds are that I also lost my money and drank copious amounts of beer to ease the pain. 

 Last week I really bit the big one, so lets hope for a smooth recovery.  Otherwise we'll be looking at a 1 week series after my wife kicks me out on the streets.  Luckily for me (and all of you), week 2 is full of tasty non-conference matchups that are perfect to fatten your wallet.  Without further ado, the nominees are (spread in parentheses). 
 
  
 
The Locks:  
 
  
 
North Carolina @ UCONN (UNC by 5):  UCONNmay have home field advantage, but that won't help with the loss of Mr. Universe, Donald Brown.  UConn struggled with lowly Ohio (not Ohio State...just plain old Ohio) last week, so look for UNC to light it up and lay the smackdown.  UNC 41 UCONN 14 
 
Bowling Green @ Missouri (Mizzou by 17):  Mizzou looked smashing, led by Chase Daniel's heir apparent Blaine Gabbert, in a 37-9 romp over a very underrated Illinois team.  The defense looked quite good and should only get better against a flat-out overmatched Bowling Green team at home.  This one could get ugly and not even due to the locale of the fan bases (ZING!).  Mizzou 55 Bowling Green 21 
 
USC @ The Ohio State (USC by 4.5):  USC looked simply dominant after working out the kinks in Saturday's beatdown of SJSU.  Ohio State looked simply average after giving Jim Tressel a heart attack in Saturday's gentle massage of Navy.  USC marches into the Columbus and takes no prisoners on the way to the Coca-Cola presents the Kinko's National Championship Game...brought to you by Nike.  USC 48 OSU 21 
 
  
 
The Likely: 
 
Purdue @ Oregon (Oregon by 13):  The lines have already started moving towards Purdue in this "who cares" matchup.  Oregon looked in shambles last week, led by 1st year head man Chip "Just call me Tyrone" Kelly.  The Oregon Defense held up when required but allowed Boise to drive at will during the first half.  That won't fly against a Purdue team who's really being slept on.  Auzten can be a tough place to play, but expect Purdue to smash Chip and Co. in the mouth and shut the hippies up.  I like Oregon to pull out the victory, but it will be close and Purdue is the livest (is that a word?) of dogs this week.  Oregon 24 Purdue 21 
 
UCLA @ Tennessee (UT by 6.5):  Last week's cupcake openers for both teams didn't really prove much.  What it did show me is that neither team deserves any respect.  Tennessee should have a high enough octane offense to break loose in this battle of defensive oriented teams.  Lane Kiffin pisses people off, but the kids seem to like him...he'll have the Vols ready enough to load a small highlight reel that we can play at his memorial (after he is mobbed by all of Knoxville on Sept. 19th).  Tennessee 28 UCLA 13 

Record on the season: 0-0, no time to get Week 1 done so we'll start on Week 2.